Blog Post

Feeling dangerously low. Instead of writing About it and making myself feel worse, I thought I'd fill out one of those ask games from tumblr, interview-style.

I would rather write something distracting and useless, than not write at all.

Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? I've always been fond of massive cups - right now I drink out of a knockoff stanley because it's just a giant thing that can have a straw or be sipped directly out of. My husband and I have them in coordinated Tervo colors (I'm Terry green, of course).
Chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars!! Specifically KitKats or Twix. Or even better, the Take5.
Bubblegum or cotton candy? I don't typically like either of these. However, if we're talking about maple cotton candy from the fair? I will eat that shit all day long.
How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Well, my kindergarten teacher tried to have me held back because I didn't have any friends. But my mom fought her on it, especially when she found out that this teacher would be teaching the first grade the following year - so I would have been the only one left behind. I remember being praised a lot for my reading and writing skills as a young kid. I read constantly. My teachers just seemed happy that I did all my work.
Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Plastic cups with a plastic straw! Especially McDonald's Coke. People say they have a special syrup ratio, or a deal with Coca-Cola, or something that makes specifically Coke from there taste superior. Whatever they're doing, it works! It's addictive.
Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I am not fashion-forward whatsoever, because any clothing that isn't comfortable will literally ruin my day. I typically wear my fat-guy stretchy shorts, a t-shirt, and either sneakers or Crocs. Anything touching my neck all day makes my skin crawl, and anything too thick or heavy will make me sweat, which I hate. I've always wanted to wear cool clothes but at this point I've just accepted that I just can't, not just because I'm too fat for most cool clothes, but because being slightly uncomfortable makes me into the biggest asshole ever.
Earbuds or headphones? Headphones! I love the big cushy ones that cover my whole ears.
Movies or TV shows? They both have their strengths and weaknesses, but I have to pick movies for this one. And not just because I've been watching more of them lately! Movies tend to just feel more special to me. If I want great characters, that's what I go to a TV show for.
Favorite smell in the summer? Freshly-cut grass!
Game you were best at in P.E.? Does "none" count? I was always picked dead last for any games.
What do you have for breakfast on an average day? Mostly just a cup of coffee. But sometimes when I have time, I like a bowl of cereal or frozen pancakes with cinnamon butter. I've been using the Texas Roadhouse butter lately, but I much prefer the Walmart brand's maple-cinnamon butter. Ugh, I'm drooling.
Name of your favorite playlist? My "gothmetallirock" playlist on Spotify.
Lanyard or key ring? Key ring -- lanyards get stuck on things because I refuse to wear them around my neck.
Favorite non-chocolate candy? Those sugared grapefruit jelly things. So good.
Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I liked "Catcher In The Rye", I liked "A Separate Peace". I didn't mind most books assigned, but the more modern ones were what I ripped through the most quickly.
Most comfortable position to sit in? Reclined.
Most frequently worn pair of shoes? I actually have to get rid of these soon because they're worn out - my blue Crocs that are closed on the side with a pink and purple mosaic pattern. RIP.
Ideal weather? Thunderstorming with heavy rain. And it's dark and windy out. It's so nice to be in bed when it's like this out.
Sleeping position? My husband got us an adjustable base - so it's in "Zero G" mode on my back. Although I've been waking up curled in a ball in the very middle of it, facing the foot of the bed.
Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? My laptop.
Obsession from childhood? I've always been fascinated with snails. I like slugs, too, but something about snails really makes me so happy. When I was a kid, I created a "Snail Club" (consisting of my parents and my sister) where we'd get together and I'd recite snail facts at them. Today, I have the Lazarus Snail tattooed on me, and my house is filled with snail decor. I love everything about them.
Role model? When I was a kid, I'd have said Mary Roach. As an adult, I would say my Radio professor from college. He was always very kind, thoughtful, and made every minute fun. I'd like to be that person for others.
Strange habits? None come to mind right now, but I do worry that everything I do is strange compared to everyone else!
Favorite crystal? I collect gemstones and minerals! Right now, I'm in love with this gorgeous piece of moldovite my husband got me for my birthday at this year's gem show. The next thing I want for our collection is a trona cast of a frog.
First song you remember hearing? My parents loved playing these in the car when I was very young: the "Wedding Singer" soundtrack, the "That Thing You Do!" soundtrack, Genesis and Phil Collins, Journey, Cheap Trick. They also listened to the oldies and top 40 radio stations.
Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Swimming in the lake!
Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Staying inside and watching someone else shovel the car out in the morning.
Five songs to describe you? "Sandpaper" by Crippling Alcoholism, "The Nightwatchman" by Boys Next Door, "Common Sense" by Viagra Boys, "Dance Godamnit" by Sparks, "Fish" by Will Joseph Cook.
Best way to bond with you? Wander around with me somewhere, like the mall, or a few city blocks, or the main street of a smaller town, and be open to randomly popping in places. Dish out random facts or shocking gossip, even if I have no clue who you're talking about. Tell me everything you know about your favorite things, and let me ask questions! Go on a long car ride with me, with no deadline. Show me you like me so I feel confident enough in continuing to talk to you -- otherwise I will assume I'm annoying you.
Places that you find sacred? The woods. Large bodies of water.
What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? My Voyager skant that my husband made me.
Top five favorite vines? ...When was this list made...? I quote some vines daily (still, yes) but at this point it's just habit, it's not even funny to me anymore.
Most used phrase in your phone? Probably "I miss you", because I text my husband that I miss him at least once a day.
Advertisements you have stuck in your head? "Mazda? Mazda." plays pretty frequently here because Tubi is king.
Average time you fall asleep? It takes me like two minutes to fall asleep, but staying asleep is tougher. Waking up for good in the morning is the hardest part of my day.
What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I remember becoming aware of memes as a concept around the time rage faces were popular. I genuinely enjoyed the Numa Numa guy as a child and watched that video every chance I got.
Suitcase or duffel bag? Duffel bag. I don't have time to fold my shit all tiny, are you kidding me?
Lemonade or tea? Lemonade! Although an Arnold Palmer sounds good, too.
Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I love lemon, so both. If forced to choose, probably lemon meringue pie, because it's a bit lighter.
Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Weirdest thing I witnessed was a fight, which I was the only one around for, and it was over quicker than it started. I was in a nearly empty hallway when this guy ran up and punched this other guy in the face. It was right near the office, so people were on them immediately.
Last person you texted? A groupchat I have with my sister, their partner, me, and my husband.
Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets!
Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Bomber jacket...I love...
Favorite scent for soap? Almond.
Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Sci-fi!
Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Just underwear and a t-shirt is all I need.
Favorite type of cheese? Feta makes everything bettah.
If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I would be a peach, because I'm hairy and I have a cute butt.
What saying or quote do you live by? My senior quote was: "Better to be sexy and racy, than sexist and racist." But then Stephen Fry turned out to indeed be sexist and racist, so I prefer now: "My moods control the weather, but I can't control my moods." (Nick Cave)
What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I'm not really sure.
Current stresses? Don't go there.
Favorite font? Cambria Math. It's so elegant but also understated.
What is the current state of your hands? Underneath my knuckles is sore with arthritis. I'm wearing my gold wedding band. My fingernails are torn and warped. My palms are relatively soft - the backs of my hands are rough, red, and cracked with psoriasis. I have a scab on my right pointer finger where I cut myself unboxing a shelf on Sunday.
What did you learn from your first job? Office jobs are where I belong.
Favorite fairy tale? I like the original Little Mermaid story, where she turns into foam in the end. I like stories where the protagonist makes a great sacrifice, and it turns out to be for nothing. I'm sure that indicates how well-adjusted and normal I am.
Favorite tradition? My family goes the the local summer gem show every year. I look forward to it all year, and when it comes it feels like a holiday.
The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Coming out and beginning my transition. Graduating college in a state where I had nobody. And the aftermath of what happened to me in college.
Four talents you’re proud of having? My writing skills...that's the only thing I can think of right now.
If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Probably "no worries", or "okey-dokey". I say both of those frequently at work.
If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? The Pokemon world seems pretty chill, all things considered. I'd love a Pokemon buddy.
Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Off the top of my head? Uh... In Metalocalypse, when Murderface sings that song about how he wishes everything in life was easy and that everything should be handed to him because doing things is hard. Felt.
Seven characters you relate to? B'Elanna Torres from Star Trek Voyager, Terry Opposites from Solar Opposites, Pickles the Drummer from Metalocalypse, BJ Barnes from Righteous Gemstones, Crow T Robot from MST3K, Worf from Star Trek TNG, Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.
Five songs that would play in your club? I actually have a Spotify playlist ready to go for this question. But to just name five? "Fuck The Pain Away" by Peaches, "Spit It Out" by Aesthetic Perfection, "Heart" by Pet Shop Boys, "Padam Padam" by Kylie Minogue, and "Rasputin" by Boney M.
Favorite website from your childhood? Wistful sigh. Webkinz.
Any permanent scars? None I can think of, besides tattoos.
Favorite flower(s)? Bleeding hearts, pansies, hibiscus, lily-of-the-valley.
Good luck charms? Right now it's me and my labubu against the world.
Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I really don't care for most artificial fruit flavors (especially strawberry or watermelon).
A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Simon Pegg and Nick Frost used to snuggle in bed together and have kissed each other with tongue before.
Left or right handed? Right.
Least favorite pattern? Paisley is ugly.
Worst subject? Chemistry. When you combine math and common sense, you lose me entirely.
Favorite weird flavor combo? It's not even that weird, but right now I could really go for ube-coconut ice cream. I saw ube-cheddar ice cream once, I should try that sometime.
At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Like a 6.5 or 7.
When did you lose your first tooth? I don't remember, probably when I was like 7 or 8?
What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Latkes, or curly fries.
Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I wouldn't know - I kill everything I touch.
Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Both are literally fine, I'd take either. Sushi if someone else is paying!
Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My work ID looks much better. I look so busted on my driver's license.
Earth tones or jewel tones? I like both. Earth tones have that neat 60s vibe though.
Fireflies or lightning bugs? I always thought they were the same thing.
PC or console? Console.
Writing or drawing? Drawing is more satisfying, but I am better at writing (I think...)
Podcasts or talk radio? Neither, I'll be bored to tears. I'd rather listen to music.
Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie. She can be anything. Polly is just small.
Fairy tales or mythology? Mythology.
Cookies or cupcakes? Cookies!
Your greatest fear? Becoming homeless, or dying alone, or having someone living in my walls and eating my food/wearing my clothes while I'm at work and I have no clue.
Your greatest wish? I just want people to like me, and for everyone to get along. I don't have the energy for people who can't at least fake being nice to one another.
Who would you put before everyone else? My husband, my sister, my nieces and nephews.
Luckiest mistake? The college I chose was definitely a mistake, but if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have met my husband. So it was worth it.
Boxes or bags? Bags because they're easier to carry.
Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Give me cool blue overhead lights, please, to keep me awake and focused.
Nicknames? So many. My mom calls me Chuckles.
Favorite season? Fall.
Favorite app on your phone? Monopoly Go right now. I'm playing with my coworkers and we all share stickers.
Desktop background? Windows 98 teal.
How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Just five or six.
Favorite historical era? All of them, history is fascinating.