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today i'm finally beginning what i consider the undertaking of a lifetime. i'm going to begin watching adam sandler movies.

but wait, i beg myself, don't we hate adam sandler?

well, yeah. that's kind of why i'm doing this. i'm not a fan of outright disliking, or even outright claiming to hate something just because. that's just called "ignorance" and "unfamiliarity", which is just a cop-out method of haterism, in my opinion. lots of people dislike things without even giving them a fair shake.

i thought i'd given sandler his due. i'd seen wedding singer (1998) as a kid, and again as a young adult. it wasn't very memorable, but it didn't endear me to mr. sandler at all. i saw bedtime stories (2008) and mildly disliked it, but it wasn't until i saw the ridiculous six (2015) in college that i allowed my disdain for sandler become something more personal.

in ridiculous six, i remember suffering through egregious racism towards Native Americans for a few minutes, before abandoning the entire movie in disgust. i revisted it for a cringedrinking sesh a few years later, but i don't think we made it the whole way through that time, either. (im not even going to mention the treatment my beloved steve buscemi endures in that sorry excuse for a film.)

you know i love a list, so...

here's the adam sandler movies i've seen so far:

• billy madison (1995) - watched as a child, i don't remember anything other than the bizarre concept.
• the wedding singer (1998) - watched twice, it made very little impression on me.
• the hot chick (2002) - didn't even know he was in this until imdb told me two seconds ago. bad.
• bedtime stories (2008) - mid, watched it with my nieces and nephews, who are sandlerheads.
• grown ups (2010) - watched as a kid and i was kind of disgusted by it, if i remember correctly.
• zookeeper (2011) - another one i didn't know he was in, that was also insanely bad.
• hotel transylvania (2012) - i actually liked this one! oh and look, sandler doesn't have a writing credit. interesting.
• the ridiculous six (2015) - killing myself.
• hubie halloween (2020) - i half-paid attention to this while with my nieces and nephews. i remember steve was insanely sexy in it, there's this scene where he's all dirty and sweaty and he's wearing this rank wifebeater, which for some reason really does it for me, i guess.

that's a lot more movies than i went spelunking into imdb expecting to have seen, so maybe once we get beyond 2015 it'll be okay? here's my current reasons for disliking sandler:

• racism.
• sexism.
• homophobia.
• he's from my homestate of new hampshire. i take that very personally.
• despite featuring steve buscemi in a bunch of his films, he always mistreats him or criticizes his looks in the script.
• he always features his shitty friends in all his movies. rob schneider, i'm looking at you.
• he always writes himself as these bumbling idiot dudes who somehow manage to have gorgeous women fall in love with him. i think he writes himself into these roles as an excuse to make out with hollywood hotties. those poor women.
• giving ridiculous six its own bulletpoint because it was THAT bad.

here are my reasons for doing the sandler challenge:

• i am open to the idea that he's not as bad a guy as i've built him up to be in my head. despite ridiculous six.
• he and i both love steve buscemi - so that's one thing we have in common that doesn't make me want to throttle him. going through sandler's filmography will give me a chance to see steve in some roles i haven't seen yet.
• watching all of his movies will give me the right to hate him. i don't think i've earned that right yet (despite the above).

my haterism runs strong. in college, many of my peers recommended popular sitcom parks and recreation (2009-2015) to me, since it had just ended. i didn't think it was funny, but people insisted -- "just push past the first couple episodes!" -- "just get past season one, then it gets really good!".

i sat through all seven seasons of parks and rec. i can count the amount of times i laughed on one hand.

but now, i take immense satisfaction in telling new friends who suggest the show: "no thanks, i've seen every episode and i hated it :)."

mark your calendars... it's sandler time.